Almost 14yrs ago, I gave my life to Christ. For a very long time I was on fire the Lord. I read the bible all the time, attended church every Sunday, prayed about everything, talked about God constantly, had all the bumper stickers & T-shirts, witnessed to anyone who would listen, and was hungry for more of God in my life.
I am no longer that person. I am questioning God and His Word. I am doubting my faith. I can't remember the last time I read the bible, I don't go to church anymore, I'm not sure if I believe in prayer, and I deffinitely don't witness to anyone.
How did I get to this place? To be honest, I'm not exactly sure. Disappointment seems to be the common thread in all my wonderings.
I feel trapped.
I sense a hardness growing in my heart.
I have noticed a bit of indifferece within myself.
I recognize flashes of anger lingering beneath the surface.
I feel lost.
So many thoughts and feelings...I keep them to myself because they seem, if spoken, would surely damn me to hell.
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1 comment:
Believe it or not God understands these feelings and He does not damn you to hell. He loves you and just wants you to come back to Him so he can show you. The cares of this world and the hurts and disapointments can steal our Joy. God hasn't changed and He loves you and just wants you back. To much looking at circumstances can steal our Joy. We live in a fallen world and Satan is alive and well on planet earth, but God is still in control. I love you too Monica and hope you don't think I am preaching at you. I am not. I have been where you are and I know the feeling. But the only security we have in this world is our Faith in God.
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