The Butterfly Effect

It has been said something as small as the flutter of a butterfly's wing can ultimately cause a typhoon halfway around the world. ~ Chaos Theory

Change one thing. Change everything.

A look.
A word.
A decision.
A choice.
An action can change you or some one's world in an instant; never be the same again. For good or bad...
We all effect each other's lives. Today and forever. We are all connected.

Hasn't some one's words or actions changed, forever, your life in a profound way? Change the way you see yourself? Opened your mind and heart to a thought or reality you have never had before?
These events can be a double-edged sword...
Courage, strength and encouragemnet can be given...or
a loss of some kind of innocence never to be restored.

What we put out can never be taken back.

So, this makes me look at myself.
What am I putting out?

Creed

~ Third Day

I believe in God the Father,
Almighty Maker of heaven and Maker of earth,
And in Jesus Christ
His only begotten son our Lord.
He was conceived by the Holy Spirt,
born of the virgin Mary.
Suffered under Pontius Pilot
where he was crucified dead and buried.

[Chorus:]
And I believe what I believe in
is what makes me what I am.
And I did not make it,
no it is making me
It is the very truth of God
and not the invention of any man.

I believe that He who suffered
was crucified, buried and dead.
He descended into hell
and on the third day He rose again.

He ascended into heaven
where He sits at God's mighty right hand.
I believe that He's returning to judge
the quick and the dead of the sons of men.

I believe it, I believe it. I believe it.
I believe it, I believe it. I believe it.

I believe in God the Father,
Almighty Maker of Heaven and Maker of earth
And in Jesus Christ His
only begotten Son our Lord.

I believe int the Holy Spirit,
one Holy Church
The communion of saints,
the forgiveness of sin
I believe in the resurrection
I believe in a life that never ends.

Convertables & Camouflage

Here are some more humorous, inspirational and encouraging words from awesome TLG kids! Enjoy!


* So, we were playing a game at the end of class. The game was "Find the Peanut Butter Sand which" (the "sand whiches were bean bags). The teacher would hide the "sandwiches" around the gym as the kids counted. After most kids had found a "sand which," one of the 4yr olds had not found one. One yellow bean bag "sand which" was on a yellow mat. I told her to look in that direction and she saw it. 
"I tried to trick you by hiding it on the same color." I said.
"It was like camouflage!" She said with a huge smile.
Wow, I thought, that is one SMART Giggle Worm!

* The 4yr old Giggle Worms were sitting on the yellow wall and one girl was looking at me quite intently. I asked her if she was OK and she looked at me for a long time before speaking. With much certainty in her voice, she said,
"I think I want to be a Little Gym teacher when I grow up." :)

* A 5yr old boy said  to Teacher Katherine,
"Teacher Katherine, would you come ride in my car with me...in the summertime...with the top down?"
I think this Good Friend has a crush on Teacher Katherine! <3

* During Priority Enrollment we wear red shirts instead of our normal blue attire. Before trains, a Funny Bug asked me why I had on a red shirt. I gave him a simple explanation and this seemed to satisfy his 3yr old curiosity. Later, during stations, he said to me,
"You look better in blue."
You gotta love a 3yr old's brutal honesty!

* After line tumbling in my Flips grade school class, I told all the kids how proud I was of how hard they were working on their cartwheels. I made them all raise their arms in victory and say together,
"Go me!"
After their group self cheer was shouted out, one of the girls responded with,
"Go Teacher Monica!"
It made me feel like a champion!

Unseen Gifts

When I was 10 years old I saw the movie "Annie" and LOVED it. I would play my record of the movie soundtrack, open my closet doors to create a stage and sing my heart out. I wanted to BE Annie! Not the little orphan Annie, but the singing and dancing Annie. I don't remember wanting to grow up and become something specific or special, but I do remember desiring so much to BE Annie.

Well, I didn't become Annie. I became a teacher. When I look back, I didn't BECOME a teacher. I was BORN a teacher. Its something that has always come natural to me. On my gymnastics team I would get into trouble for helping my teammates learn new skills instead of practicing myself. It felt more satisfying to see them succeed with my help. As I got older I walked the path into coaching gymnastics, then pre-school and now back to teaching non-competitive gymnastics. I have a gift of teaching.

So, I think God puts natural raw gifts in us and, if we chose, to we can allow Him to help us develop those gifts. I believe our gifts are ultimately placed in us to bring Him glory and honor. I'm beginning to search myself and try and discover my gifts. I'm looking closely at my natural abilities wondering what else God would like me to do with my life. You think it would be easy, but sometimes we bury those gifts quite deeply as we get caught up in life. Many times others see gifts in us we don't realize are there until they are pointed out to us. I welcome anyone to open my eyes to my unseen gifts!

The gift of a smile :)

Lately, my smile has been brought to my attention. People have been commenting in it. My smile seems to be many people's favorite thing about me....
I've been told I look very serious, intimidating and even sad when I don't smile. When someone sees me without a smile their perception is that I am a snob, a mean person and even a b*tch. And when my smile appears, their perception immediately changes. Funny, huh? Looking at pictures of me smiling and not smiling, I see there is a stark contrast between the two. It is, to me, quite drastic! I find it to be amazing that my internal world is very black/white, good/bad without much gray and my outside reflects that so vividly too. Interesting...

The Pit

A pit is a horrible place to find yourself. A pit is a dark place. Your feet are caught in knee deep, thick mud. You're stuck and cannot get out alone. You feel hopeless, even defeated. You have no vision of the future. You see, there are no windows in a pit. Whether you were thrown in, slipped in or jumped in this pit, you're there now. Alone, hurting, confused, and maybe even angry.
I have found myself in many pits in my life. Some of my own doing and others not. I'm sharing this because I have very recently been pulled out of the darkest pit I've ever experienced. Honestly, I didn't think it possible to ever be free. I was wrong, so wrong.
Maybe your wondering how I got out? I didn't get out. I was pulled out. Lifted out by God's unfailing love.
Let me describe this pit.
This was a pit of blindness, lies, deception and overwhelming condemnation. A place full of constant beratings of shame. Fear coated every inch of this confining pit.
A prison of voices whispering.
"You're nothing and never will be anything."
"You always hurt people. You deserve to be alone."
"It will NEVER happen for you."
"Don't bother to try anymore. You're a complete failure."
"Just GIVE UP. The world would be a better place without you."
I'm going to be real with you and share the true depths of this pit's darkness for me. I began to doubt God.
The voices sreamed about God.
"God isn't dependable or trustworthy. He has let you down so many times."
"Prayer doesn't do anything. God doesn't hear you. Why bother?"
"The Bible is just a book."
"Going to church really isn't that important."

I was dying in this pit. I knew it. Certain people around me knew it. God knew it. He wanted to help me. But, quite honestly I was terrified of life out of this pit. Sounds strange, but even bad things can become familiar and even feel safe. What happened next took me down the path to freedom. It didn't present itself this way, but God has a way of working our lives for good even when we make bad choices. I made a very bad choice and hurt someone I love very much. I was hurting too. When this emtional pain became to much to bear, I exploded driving home from work one night. I can't say I "prayed," but I didn't hold anything back. I yelled and cried releasing all of my pent up emotions.
The next morning I woke up with a peace in my heart I've never known. It has not left me. I thank God for it everyday. I've realized God's peace is a very precious thing. I believe the moment I cried out with my whole heart in true desperation God heard my unspoken soul's desire to be free. I believe at that moment He reached down and lifted me out of the pit. I believe the peace I felt the next morning was the manifestation of my freedom.
I am free, but know that I have much to learn to walk out that freedom.

My Garden

Something beautiful is happening. There is a colorful garden growing in my heart. The Son is breaking down the thick brick wall of protection. Pieces of it are falling away. The Son is streaming inside, touching every withered place, bringing new life. Sunflowers are rising high with hope. Delicate violets are accepting grace and love. Geranium's roots are digging deep to drink the living water. Butterflies are flying in obedience. Tulips are opening every morning with new mercy on their petals. Potted, draping ferns welcome the winds of transformation gently blowing. The blue sky is filled with peace...

Psalm 40
I waited patiently for the Lord to help me,
and he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the pit of despair,
out of the mud and the mire.

He set my feet on solid ground
and steadied me as I walked along.
He has given me a new song to sing,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see what he has done and be amazed.
They will put their trust in the Lord.

You take no delight in sacrifices or offerings.
(obedience is better than sacrifice.)
Now that you have made me listen, I finally understand —

Then I said, “Look, I have come.
As is written about me in the Scriptures:
I take joy in doing your will, my God,
for your instructions are written on my heart.”

The Truth

I am loved even if I feel rejected, inferior and very unlovable.
I am redeemed even if I feel I don't deserve it.
I have peace even if I feel life is swirling around me.
I am saved even when I feel I'm not worth it.
I am blessed even when the cupboards are empty.
I have hope even when I feel I cannot go on another day.
I have a future even when I feel it will never happen for me.
I am beautiful even when I feel so tainted and stained.
I am protected even when I wake up feeling frightened.

What I feel is NOT the truth.

The Map

The Map is unfolded and thumb tacked to the wall of my heart. Paths are highlighted and color coded.
Direction is becoming clear.
It shows which way to go, where to turn around, where to stay away from and where to stop.
Boundaries are drawn out.
I'm beginning to understand how to read this Map and be lead.
This is a Map of truth spoken to my heart. A voice of peace that resonates within my soul.
Making me sensitive to when to take a hand or put mine in my pockets.
Helping me realize when I'm stepping into a dark alley full of danger to turn around and run into the sunlit meadow.
Alternative routes will open up before me that will take me the wrong way.
I must be guided by peace. Follow righteousness, love and truth.
The narrow road.
Crossroads will be difficult. I must study the Map carefully. Listen for peace.
I can no longer walk the familiar roads I've traveled in the past. They will carry me to places I don't want to revisit. Places full of pain, despair and destruction.
Surly, I will stumble and get lost many times, but this Map is like no other. It leads gently, lovingly, with kindness and grace. It will never blow away. It is reliable, never changing, and trustworthy.
With this Map, I will never walk alone.

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step." ~ Lao Tzu

Dancing Lessons

Many have chosen my dance card.
Some probably wish they had walked on by...

See, I am a beautiful solo dancer.
But, when given a partner, things are not so pretty.
When we dance close, I will step on your toes and stomp on your feet.
I have a hard time staying in my own space.
When we try a lift, I will drop you.
I will say, "I'm sorry", help you up,
only to drop you again.
I don't understand how to hold onto you so you're safe.
Our dance will not be smooth and flow together easily. Most likely it will be choppy and frustrating.
And, the day will come. I will take off my dancing shoes and leave.
You will be left standing alone, confused and hurt.

I now understand my dancing style needs much improvement.
I need some dancing lessons.

There is hope for me.
I know the best Dance Teacher. His credentials are love, truth and mercy.
He can teach me to be a loving, faithful and forgiving dancer like Him.
It will take hard work. It won't be easy. I will have to relearn the basics to build a firm foundation.
Thank goodness, He is very patient, encouraging and kind.
I will make many mistakes, I'm sure, but I have a small audience cheering me on...
It is possible for me to become a good dance partner. With this Dance Teacher all things are possible!
Dance lessons have begun.

Today...

My eyes have been opened. A bit of clarity has stepped into my clouded sky.
Things are beginning to make more sense. Questions are being answered.
A sense of understanding myself is diminishing the voices of condemnation. My vision is not so dark.
The tunnel is long but a distant light is visible. There is hope that things can be different.
Foreign concepts standing in front of me showing themselves to be truth. Asking to be woven into my fabric.
Change is possible. Healing is available. God IS big enough. I have to hold onto that..I've come so far.
Forgiveness is out there. Second chances do exsist. Patterns can be broken.
God can restore. I can be made whole. I am not a lost cause.
I can learn to love. I can realize I'm worth it. I can realize I cannot do it alone. I need help.
Unsure of what tomorrow holds, but with a heart of peace,
I stand in the sun today.

Ducks & Disney Cruises

I work with kids teaching gymnastics classes and the kids always say things that make me laugh. Here are some cute and comical things that make me love my job!

* We make "trains" (lines) to move from place to place during class. While making a train, a 4yr old said she wanted to be the "bagoose." (caboose)

* We teach the kids to do a hang on the bar where they put their feet up between their hands and hang upside down. I asked what it was called and a 3yr old said, "Its a basketball hang!" (Its really called a basket hang.)

* I have three siblings in one class and they were taking a month long trip. I talked to them about it during class and told them I was exited to hear they were going to Germany. They said to me, "No, we are going to EUROPE!"

* In a dance class the theme of the week was "Prince & Princesses." We asked the girls what princess they wanted to be. They began to tell us and one 3yr old said, "I want to be a duck."

* During "3 Cheer for Chores" week we were talking about how we can help around the house. A 3yr old told me that he helped Mommy, but when he was a teenager he wouldn't.

* A 4yr old noticed another child in the class had her ears pierced. She seemed a bit jealous about this, so I asked her if she felt jealous. She said, "Yes." and then quickly said, very sassy with her hand on her hip, "But, I'M going on a Disney Cruise!"

To party or not to party...

My birthday is in a month and a half. I'm tossing around the thought of having a party this year. I'm not sure if I want to but on the other hand I think it might be fun. I've had parties in the past and not many people came. I'm not so sure that won't happen again. So, I'm a bit weary of planning another one. I've made a list of potential guests and now wonder who would actually show up...
So, if I do decide to have a birthday celebration, what kind should I have? A small gathering or a huge bash? Dinner or just finger foods? Should I have a theme? What would be super fun? A costume theme? Alcohol or not?
E-vites or snail mail? Much to think about.
Any comments or suggestions?

Valentine's Day Limo Surprise

It being Valentine's Day, I would like to share a special memory of a Valentine's Day many years ago...

When I was in college I was in a long distance relationship. On our first Valentine's Day together we were 14 hours and 5 states away from each other. I was in my dorm room waiting for a pre-planned phone call from him and there was a knock on my door. When I opened it, there was a man holding a huge box with a red bow. He told me to get dressed, pack a bag and meet him downstairs. He also handed me a casstte tape. I put the tape in the stereo and my boyfriend and I's "song" began to play. I opened the box and there was my prom dress. I did all I was told and headed downstairs not knowing quite what to expect.

As I walked down the stairs, I saw him outside. I thought I was going to fall down the stairs I was so overwhelmed. There he was and I couldn't get to him fast enough! He walked to me smiling and embraced me. I was shaking and crying. He asked me if I was ok and his voice was shaking too. It was incredible!

As we let go, I saw the limo behind him. There was a huge crowd of students around the limo and people were laughing, cheering and some girls were crying.
We walked hand in hand towards the limo. When the driver opened the back door, my best friend appeared along with his best friend. I was so taken back and surprised!
We all climbed into the limo and drove off as everyone watched. It was fabulous! It was like a movie scene and a dream come true.

We drove to V.A. beach and went to a resturant for dinner. When we arrived at the table there were boxes of chocolate and a teddy bear for my B/F and me. The resturant was so nice and the table over looked the marina which was lit up with lights from the boats. It was so beautiful and romantic.

After dinner, we went to a fancy hotel and stayed there the entire weekend. It was like a fairy tale. It was so special and an incredible experience. It was a Valentine's Day fantasy that few ever get to be a part of in their lifetime. I've never forgotten it or have any ever compare to it!

Happy Valentine's Day!!

Funny Bone

My elbows are giving me pain again...I've been diagnosed with tendinitis in both elbows a couple of years ago. I even had cortisone shots to help with the pain. That was no fun. It did help, though. I've been pain free for a while, but now that I'm teaching gymnastics again the pain is returning. Its not as severe as it has been in the past, but I'm wondering if it will continue to progress because of my job.

They ache alot during the day and hurt at night while I'm sleeping. If I keep them bent for a long time while I'm asleep, I wake up with horrible pain. Straightening them back out hurts so much! I've started taking aleve before bed. I'm not sure if it helps.

I have arm straps that I used to wear to give support and alleviate pain. I think I should start wearing them again when I'm doing anything that requires lifting. I'm also contemplating going back to the orthopedist and getting more cortisone shots. At least I have health coverage now and have the option of getting treatment!

The WOW Factor

So, for the past six months we have been receiveing WOW Reports at work. A WOW Report is a comment from a parent on how we, as teachers, have WOWed them or positively influenced their child in class. There was a box for parents to leave a comment at the front desk. The gym owner would read the WOWs and then email them to us. At the end of the six months we were going to have prizes awarded for the best WOW Reports.
Well, the results are in! I won second place! I won a set of really cool tumbler cups. I think knowing I won second place was better than the actual prize. :)
Getting the WOW Reports was a huge boost for my self-esteem. It was nice to know that I do my job well. It always made me feel good to read about how my teaching is making a child happy. Its good to feel appreciated in your job. My heart is very much in my work, so to know it shows is wonderful to hear. All the comments were heartwarming, but I think this one was my favorite.
*From Esther Hanson for Monica: "I just wanted to write down some amazing things about Teacher Monica. Miss Monica has been teaching my daughter, Elysia, since this past summer. I knew Miss Monica was very much liked by Elysia as Elysia would always talk about Miss Monica even after days of not seeing her. As I watched them interact I realized that one of the things that make Miss Monica great is her 110% full attention to her students--she is always smiling and she seems to really care about her students' progression. At the end of each class she would give us a verbal "progress report" for Elysia which was always positive and encouraging for Elysia. I would guess that Miss Monica cares as much for Elysia as Elysia cares for her. Thank you to Miss Monica--she has been a real friend for Elysia!"

Elysia and Me @ Harvest Fest

Weekend of Worry

So, this weekend I had a bit of a scare. My sweet Buddah kitty was not feeling well. I came home Saturday afternoon and noticed she didn't meet me at the back door like she always does. Her normally empty food bowl was full and she was laying in the same place on the floor when I left for work that morning. She had her head down and would not respond to my touch. No purring, no rolling upside down and no meowing. She was super lathargic and didn't follow me around like usual. I had to carry her to her food bowl where I tried to entice her to eat some wet food. No such luck. I put her on the couch with me to keep an eye on her. I was very worried and scared. I've lost three animals in the past three years, so my heart was very afraid.
She slept under the bed Saturday night. She always sleeps on the bed with me. I worried through the night about her. I mean, its hard to know whats going on when she can't tell me what feels bad. Its a very helpless feeling.

Sunday morning when I woke up and got out of bed I heard her collar bell jingle as she came out from under the bed and followed me downstairs. Good sign, I thought. Still no go on eating but at least she was moving around on her own. She started to respond more when I loved on her. Purring a bit and trying to stretch out and be sweet. She climb up in my lap while I was on the computer and stayed there. She ate about two bites of wet food while I sat and petted her later on in the afternoon. She seemed better, but was not her usually spunky self. I began to relax when I felt her sleeping on the bed with me in the middle of the night.

So, its Monday and she seems all better. She ate the whole plate of wet food and has been walking all over me while I'm on the computer driving me crazy. I am very happy to have her back to normal.
I'm not sure what got into her, but it upset me terribly. She is a big part of my life and I love her very much. I don't want to imagine her being sick or not around anymore. I sure hope this doesn't happen again. I know I will be watching her closley for the next couple of days just to be safe.

New Semester...

Things at work are starting to settle down a bit. Things have been pretty crazy for the past two weeks. We started the Winter/Spring semester and have had much going on with learning a new schedule, trial visits, having many brand new Funny Bugs (3yr olds who have moved up from a parent-child class to an independent class)and having a beloved teacher (and friend) let go. Many adjustments to be made. Some good, some not so good.
There have been so many trial visits I feel like I cannot keep them all straight! Trial visits are great because they are potential new students, but can be a tad stressful. OK, maybe more than a "tad". There is alot of things to be done for a trial visit other than just teaching a great class...it can be frustrating to find the time to do everything. I just do the best I can and keep moving forward.
I did get some good news at the last staff meeting. My co-worker, Katherine, and I had the highest conversion (trial visits that enroll) for the Fall semester. We will be treated to dinner by our Gym Director. Nice. That made me feel very proud of myself. I needed that self-confidence booster.

Katherine and I showing off on the balance beam :)